Quick Tips #20: How To Help Depressed Friend
Question: “Hi Merja, I just love your work and I’d like to know if you have any tips for me on how to help a friend who is depressed.”
That’s a great question. We want to help our friends, but it’s not always easy or received very well.
You and your depressed friend are at a very different vibrational level. The vibrational levels are like radio signals and it can be difficult to communicate with each other when you are on different vibrational levels.
For example, if you have a person who is depressed, and then you have a person who really wants to empower their friend, because they are empowered themselves, it can be really hard to tune the radio to the right station and get the signal across.
I think we help other people best when we set an example of self-care for ourselves.
So, in the same way you would talk to your inner child that might be depressed or going through a lot of grief, you could say to your friend:
What’s happening for you right now?
How are you feeling right now?
Is there anything I can get you?
That way you are letting them know that you are there.
But it’s very important that you don’t get any kind of a reaction if your friend turns your help down.
If your friend turns your help down and you get triggered and you feel unappreciated, then what will happen is that you’ll just start to gravitate towards the sense of depression yourself.
So, to truly help other people you yourself have to be in a good place yourself. A place where you can offer the help without any anticipation of it being received or reciprocated.
If you are not quite sure where you are at, check out the drama triangle and look at the different positions of the people. Try to identify where on the drama triangle you are and where your friend might be.
The drama triangle consists of the rescuer, the victim and the persecutor. It’s a really good tool to look into and start identifying where you might be or where your friend might be.
But as long as you are there to support your friend when they are ready to receive your support, then that is job well done. That’s the best way you can help your friend who is depressed.
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